Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He passed out mid-signature
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
