been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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