your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
