He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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