I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Randomize
