There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
