why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
