If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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