Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
third nipple confirmed
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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