I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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