The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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