My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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