i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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