Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
