I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
