I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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