don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
