If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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