call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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