Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
