matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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