Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
