My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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