and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
