You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
