So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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