and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
