Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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