The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
