just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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