I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
