Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
