I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
