I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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