I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
