Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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