There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
