Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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