the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
