so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
