why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
