I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
