Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
