It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
