So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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