i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
