i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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