Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We're not piercing ourselves today.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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