He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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