I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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