mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
