I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
